From the time we are born, we are assigned a gender. We are either a "girl" or a "boy".
Often times, we are gendered BEFORE we are born. We want to know the answer to our burning question, "will it be a girl or a boy?"
From this label, we receive all kinds of different messages about who to be and how to be depending on our gender.
We receive these messages from society, family, school, and the media.
We internalize beliefs about what it means to be a "woman" and a "man" and we carry these beliefs with us into adulthood. They affect how we think of ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we think of and treat others.
Gender conditioning affects every area of our life. It influences how we show up in the world and who we show up as.
We still cling to these ideas of what a woman is and what a man is and what roles we feel we need to perform in order to be accepted and belong in society.
We want to be loved for who we are and society has taught us that gender is our personhood. That who we are at our core is either a “woman” or a “man.”
Here's what I see....
People of all genders tired of feeling like they have to live up to specific gender norms and expectations that society has laid out for them
Folks feeling like they have to perform a certain kind of gender (masculinity/femininity, manhood/womanhood) that isn't in alignment with who they are a lot of the time.
Individuals (cis, non binary, trans, no identity) questioning their gender or wanting to play with gender.
I see people holding themselves back from doing certain things that they "shouldn't" because society might laugh at them, shame them, or even harm them.
I see people falling into gender roles because they don't have another system in place. They didn't prepare for this, and they didn't want this. But, they don't know another way. Or, they're too tired or afraid to try.
I see folks hide all of who they are because they're afraid of being shamed for not being "man enough" or "woman enough."
I am Cameron Airen, a queer feminist consultant, interviewer, writer, teacher who believes that your true self lies outside of the gender binary, not within it. And, I am here to help you get in touch with who you are underneath what you've been conditioned to be, and embrace it. I am here to help relive the pressure for you to fit into gender norms, and to help you heal from this expectation to "perform". It's my intention to provide a safe space for you to be brave in exploring your gender identity, expression, and exploration.
What I know....
We take a step closer to our freedom when we recognize that gender is a construct that has been placed upon us even before birth.
Gender is a construct and it’s not who we are at our core.
Although gender is a construct, it matters. And it’s performance runs deep.
Gender is a performance. And you don't have to perform someone you are not anymore.
Gender is considered essential to our personhood
When we’re taught that gender is who we are at our core, then we attach ourselves to it, and questioning our gender can be very uncomfortable because it shakes up the foundation of who we think that we are, of who we’ve been taught that we are.
It's challenging and uncomfortable for folks to see themselves outside of gender or challenging gender, and to recognize that their “essence” is not about being a “woman” or a “man”
Gender is complex.
Gender is fluid
Our culture has taught us what it means to be a “woman” and a “man” and it is killing us, whether physically or on the inside.
You are so much more than the gender that has been placed upon you at birth.
I allow you to let go of the gender expectations that have been placed upon you. I allow you to just BE. Who you are underneath the various and many societal layers and constructs. I give you permission to be who you are, and I give you the space to give yourself that permission. To explore and play with gender or without gender however you desire. However you want to express yourself.
Free you from feeling like you have to live up to society’s expectations so you can stop being someone you’re not and start being who you are/the person you’re meant to be.
understand gender socialization and how it’s influenced your beliefs, feelings, experiences, choices, behavior and life.
understanding of how gender is constructed in society, and what we've been conditioned to be so you can heal and be free from gender expectations and norms that are holding you back
We will dive deeper into the messages that society has taught us about gender, and how we have taken them on.
We will look deeper into the beliefs that you have internalized about who you are based on gender, and how you relate to others based on these beliefs.
Become more aware of how gender conditioning is connected to other oppressions, and how gender can be a different experience for different folks based on its intersections with race, disability, class, sexuality, etc. After all, gender doesn't exist in a vacuum.
Unlearn and Unpack
The ways you've been taught to "perform" gender…
We will examine the ways you perform gender in your daily life, and unlearn what isn't serving you.
We will undo gender norms and expectations that show up in society and your everyday life.
Help you unlearn patriarchal practices that you've been taught to adhere to on a regular basis.
We will look at the fears that are holding you back from connecting more to your true self, and being all of who you are.
Bring awareness to your inner experience and connecting the dots between what you’ve internalize and societal conditioning to help you embody freedom from gender oppression. By embodying the change you need and want for yourself-for your own liberation, you will be able to enact that change in society (move to the “why” section)
I help you get free of gender conditioning so that you can connect to your true self, live the life you want and create the kind of change you want to see in society (put at the beginning).
Help you reclaim and rediscover who you are and who you want to be.
Explore and Play
With various expressions and practices of gender...
I will help you connect to your deepest desires around how you want to express yourself
I will provide a safe space for you to be brave in exploring the parts of yourself that have been denied or dehumanized.
Help you re-discover and reclaim who you are and who you want to be.
I will give you space to play and have fun with gender in ways that you've always wanted to or have yet to discover...
Own and Embrace
All of you....
I will be your biggest cheerleader in encouraging you to reclaim all parts of yourself, whether they are gendered or not, whether you want them to be gendered or not.
I will be your best friend in supporting you in however want to identify or express yourself
More freeing practices in your everyday life...
You will learn a new language, and how to be more gender inclusive with your words in your daily life.
You will learn new habits that serve you and others, and how to incorporate all that you've learned about gender and yourself in your life and in the world.
the work of unlearning gender expectations and norms isn’t just a coming home for the individual, but, also, a transformational paradigm shift in society. When you challenge the gender restrictions that you’ve been taught, you are freeing yourself and others. The more you know and own who you are, the more accepting you are of others and how they show up as themselves.
Teaching + Coaching
3 month Journey into Gender (8 sessions total)
-one 60 minute session per week (we’ll take a week break after each 3rd session to help you digest and integrate what you’ve learned, unlearned, and explored so far. And to give yourself some rest because gender is a lot to think about)
-weekly emails/assignments/prompts of readings/writing exercises/embodiment exercises
Our first session-Where are you at?
we’ll start off with going over your desires, struggles, challenges, questions, goals, curiosity
What are the areas in your life that you are experiencing struggle around gender? (relationships, work, confidence, your body)
How do you currently identify? Pronouns?
What do you want?
we’ll begin the unlearning/re-learning process where we’ll be going over what you need to unlearn in order to be more of you and get what you want in life.
We’ll go over how gender is getting in the way. I will help you connect the dots between systemic oppression, how gender has impacted and influenced your life and how it’s getting in the way of your desires and be all of you.
gaining new perspectives on how gender affects you and your life and every area of society
Looking into the messages/beliefs (internalized oppression) you’ve received that aren’t serving you, that are harmful and holding you back
Examine ways you perform gender and feel like you have to perform
Explore and play
Connect to your deepest desires
How do you want to express yourself
Hold space for you to explore parts of yourself that have been denied
Space to play and have fun (Exercises)
Own and Embrace
Your gender story
Who you are
Connecting to who you are underneath it all
What parts of you to do you want to own, reclaim?
give you space to explore gender or without gender.
What are the ways that you want to be? Who do you want to be? What are you curious about? How do you want to express yourself?
own who you are
own how you want to show up, how you want to express yourself, what you want more of….Own who you are, whether that involves an identity or not.
So, you’ve gained new more awareness and new perspectives. You’ve started exploring in ways you were afraid or hesitant of or didn’t realize you knew you wanted. How do you integrate all of this into your life, how do you tell your friends and family and communities? How do you talk about this with other folks?
What changes need to be made?
How do you choose more liberatory beliefs and actions
How does this affect how you show up for others and how you can create a safer and more liberatory space for others
So now what? How do you integrate all that you’ve learned and explored into your everyday life?
How do you tell your friends and family and co-workers?
Creating and taking practical action steps on what you want to shift and implement
You’re starting or continuing an everyday revolution of self, society, and culture.